Vesper Prayers
by pruningshears
Summary: You know all those happy Bella joins the Volturi stories? This is not one of those. The Volturi are menacing, and you must never forget that. Bella won't.


I own the plot only, the characters and some descriptions are taken directly from Twilight, New Moon and Breaking Dawn. I get nothing but my own enjoyment from this and hopefully ego swelling reviews (hint hint).

Prologue

I thought it would be one last splurge before my life was over, before I left for Forks, and left behind my life as I knew it. I never meant to be so _Right_, not literally. When the Winter Break school trip came up it was expensive and I had decided not to go; now I wish I hadn't changed my mind.

I usually always stick to my guns, once I decide something, that's what I do. Deciding is always the hardest part. This time I let Renee change my mind.

Renee.

She must feel so guilty, its all my fault, but she'll still blame herself, at least she has Phil. He'll help her, she'll be alright, she has to be, I have to believe that.

When they posted the trip date and costs I didn't think I had enough in my car fund for a trip as well. Renee found out and together with Phil surprised me with what extra I needed if I paid half. Renee was so excited about 'broadening my horizons' I reluctantly changed my mind.

Oh how I wish I hadn't.

Chapter 1

The plane ride was boring. The tours were beautiful, and the hotels quaint. When some of the girls in our group heard about a day tour they insisted on going, it was spur of the moment. When I got on the bus and I saw our guide I felt the first stirrings of unease. There were at least 30 other people on the bus but they were background noise compared to her, I had never seen anyone so beautiful. She had impossibly long legs ending in a short yellow dress and long mahogany hair framed her face. Staring out of that face were eyes like I had never seen, the strangest shade of violet, I was unnerved at the flash of triumph reflected in them.

Everyone seemed to flock to her, she stood in the center of the aisle, and the seats surrounding her were crowded in comparison to the rest of the bus. I stood frozen, just past the first seat staring at her as the bus started to pull out. The triumph in her eyes dimmed as she turned, noticing how I refused to move closer. The edges of her eyes tightened, and I would have missed it but I couldn't look away. She was focusing on me, leaning almost imperceptibly towards me, much more intent than before.

I involuntarily took a step back even more unnerved, and predictably fell right into a thankfully empty seat. I have enough trouble walking forwards I should never try reverse. This broke our stare and when I looked up again she looked puzzled and angry almost. As to what I couldn't imagine. As I listened to the chatter on the bus my apprehension started to steadily increase. Her voice was perfection, a complete reflection of her beauty, but no one seemed to realize that she didn't answer their questions, she evaded them, and the sound of her voice alone seemed distracting enough to keep them from noticing.

I realized with a chill I had no idea where we were or where we were headed. My heart started to speed up. I glanced at her again and saw her nostrils flare slightly before she glared in my direction. Her eyes seemed darker somehow, it had be shade from the city walls, I was being silly.

She continued to glare at me so I thought to distract her with a question, a peace offering maybe, I didn't understand why she seemed to dislike me but her stare sped my heart faster than before. The bus was slowing and I opened my mouth only to be cut off by her musical voice.

"We've arrived."

Where though? I looked around at the tall building as we departed the bus. It was ancient, and for some reason foreboding. A chill shot down my spine, it was a medieval castle, they used to torture people in those. As she brushed past me to lead the way I heard the bus pull away. I was surprised, how long was this tour anyway? We entered through ornate double doors into a tastefully luxurious lobby.

I tried to get a better look as we were ushered into two elevators. I was jolted back to reality as her hand lightly gripped my arm; it was hard and very cold. She smiled at me and almost dragged me onto the lift, her musical voice ringing out again, "Mustn't get lost now."

I nodded and her smile widened slightly, baring her teeth, and I was suddenly reminded of a shark.

She never released my arm, when I tried to pull away her grip tightened just slightly and her smile disappeared.

I had a powerful urge to run.

But it was already too late. The doors opened and she towed me forward into what looked like a posh office reception area. The others started to compliment their surroundings, their voices echoing loud and rough through the open space. I stared at the wood paneling on the walls as we walked quicker than I would have liked over the plush green carpeting.

I was bothered by the lack of windows; it felt like we had entered a place wholly apart from the outside world. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than her grip, but I heard the others, the girls in my class were talking about the paintings that hung there, hiding the windows' absence.

I could smell the flowers now, they were everywhere in crystal vases on glass tables. The largest bouquet was on a desk in the center of the room, its owner absent. The flowers' smell reminded me of a funeral home.

The urge to run grew, almost choking me as we passed through a set of wooden doors into another wide ornate hall. The woman's pace quickened, I lagged a bit hoping to break her grip and I came to the shocking realization that regardless of how embarrassing it was, I was going to run from here as soon as she let go.

She must have sensed my unease and squeezed harder still towing me along. I began to hyperventilate. We had yet to see anyone else as we approached a set of double doors sheathed entirely in gold.

We jerked to a stop next to a piece of paneling pushed aside to reveal a plain door.

It was strangely more foreboding that the gold ones in its simplicity.

She had to drag me inside; my legs seemed to understand better than I did the danger here. Everyone else followed into a small stone antechamber. It seemed dead. We kept moving forward as it opened into a brighter, cavernous room, perfectly round like a huge castle turret.

Two stories above us thin window slits let the light in, but it must have been twilight as the dim strips of sunlight settled only feet below the openings. The light strangely made me hope but I was jolted back to reality by a voice that sounded like a mix between sighing and singing.

"Welcome guests! Welcome to Volterra!"

I jerked my gaze downward just as the door closed behind our group. They had all passed me by this time; I was now alone in the rear, held apart by the woman. The speaker wore a black cloak and had long black hair I almost mistook as its hood. His skin was so very white and looked papery, like onionskin, but his eyes were red, somewhat murky but scarlet all the same.

I quickly glanced around and saw that people with the same eyes flanked the turret room. This was wrong.

I started to struggle, but this seemed to set things in motion, everything happened in quick succession.

The woman snarled and tightened her grip before throwing me backwards into the door.

I heard a sickening crack just before she released me. The cries for help started as my arm went limp, my back hit the door, and the paper faced man seemed to blur.

He said something in that sighing voice too quickly to make out, and reappeared far _far _too close to me, as the woman seemed to pause in her lunge. As she settled back into her crouch the screams grew louder.

"Sorry Heidi, this one smells far too appetizing to resist." He said to her, his eyes never leaving my face. She turned away from me and lunged into the carnage.

Heidi, the woman's name was Heidi, I felt the hysterical laughter bubbling up, almost but not quite blocking out the pain from by arm and back.

The screams transformed into keening wails of agony as he jerked my head partially to the side, my eyes never left his.

I suddenly knew I was going to die, and I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it, there was nowhere to run; but I would be damned if I cowered now.

He paused, his predatory expression softening into puzzlement.

I ruthlessly quashed the hope bubbling in my chest; there was no mercy here. The screams reached a crescendo.

He suddenly closed the distance between us, quicker than thought his hands, both hard and brittle I noted in some faraway part of my mind, framed my face and he stared intently into my eyes. They tightened at the corners; it reminded me of that woman-Heidi- on the bus, that seemed like lifetimes ago now.

His focus turned calculating and he swiftly broke eye contact turning his head, but still gripping me tightly.

Quash that hope Bella! No mercy here.

"Jane" that sighing voice said once more. A tiny girl appeared, just appeared out of thin air at his side.

He grinned and released me, still keeping me cornered against the door, I would have to walk into him to get the space needed to open it. He said something to her, again too quick to make out, and I tore my gaze from his face and stared at her. She was pale as well. Her dull crimson irises stared back from wide eyes set in a full-lipped face. It looked like an angel's face, framed by lank pale brown hair trimmed short.

She smiled beatifically at me. The screams were dying out into whimpers.

No mercy here!

The smile quickly melted into a glare as her jaw tightened revealing her teeth.

They were pink.

I would not cower. I refused to give these monsters any more satisfaction, and tried my best to glare back. She snarled suddenly and an arm shot out, the paper man stopped her. I looked at him, and recoiled from his expression.

He looked anticipatory now, his expression intense. Something had changed; I wasn't only prey now, more like a prize.

The screams were gone.

The paper man was suddenly gone, I slammed backwards into the door again, and I felt a stabbing pain in my neck. I gasped, my eyes searching for anything comforting, I was going to die. Suddenly the arms supporting me disappeared and I slid down to the floor.

My eyes fell and locked onto the dead gaze of a girl. I recognized her; I had to search my sluggish mind for the name. Jenny. She had suggested the tour this morning. There was only blank death in her eyes, terror on her face.

No mercy here.

The paper man stepped back still grinning at me, his teeth pink now too. Something was wrong. I could feel the blood trickling down my neck, it felt warm, my wound felt hotter. Of course if I were dying the blood would feel warmer because I was growing colder, but the heat was starting to get uncomfortable. I tried to ignore it.

He said something quickly, again I couldn't make it out, as two others appeared at his side. They seemed to have an argument of some kind.

I tore my gaze from them and looked again at Jenny. I would lose consciousness soon, that's what happens when you die. You go numb and fall asleep and never wake up.

I jerked forward from the pain, there was a branding iron on my neck and I reached up to move it away, arms flailing. I couldn't concentrate it hurt so badly.

I was gasping and crying now. I didn't care anymore if they saw my fear. I didn't care what they saw or did as long as the pain stopped.

But it only got worse, unimaginably worse.

Of course, death would be a mercy now, and there was no mercy here.

It felt like I was lying on a hot stove, unable to remove myself. It was so intense I was deaf to my own screams as it spread.

I thrashed, I know I was begging for death. I suddenly felt someone lift me up.

How could they? I was on fire.

I was _burning._

There were things going on around me, but I scarcely cared. Every time someone came close I begged for death.

And I hated the monsters even more for not delivering.

It seemed like an eternity before I was alone, but then forever extended as the pain increased. I thought it was closer to the end when I was suddenly more aware of the pain; it felt like my mind was opening wider. I could process more. I could imagine how my skin was flaking away as my bones burned white hot, slowly sizzling the rest of me, as I burned alive.

How long could this go on?

I died. I had to have died. That's the only explanation, I was in hell, I would burn forever just like this, never ending, never sleeping. It would never stop. This was my punishment for not figuring it out sooner, for not saving those people from the monsters. For being too scared to try.

I would burn forever.

It felt like halfway through forever when the pain abruptly changed. I couldn't believe it could get worse, but it did. Gradually from my fingers and toes the liquid fire withdrew leaving only ashes behind. It moved slowly away and my brain and eyes were no longer boiling, it left an echo in my throat, but that was nothing compared to this new pain. The more it left behind the hotter it burned, centering in my torso even hotter than before. My heart was the surface of the sun.

I could hear it beating now, the pace so fast I could barely distinguish between the beats. It was almost a humming; surely it would explode at this pace.

I wanted it to. Then I wouldn't have to endure this anymore.

But what if that's what happens? If this is hell and my heart explodes, but everything resets and the pain starts over? Maybe this is false hope.

God save me.

The fire that had burned me alive constricted, concentrating inside my heart, the only thing left that wasn't ash, with a final unbearable surge. The surge was answered by a deep hollow sounding thud. Two quiet beats and it stopped completely. The fire was out. I stopped breathing with the shock of it.

I had to be dead now, but somehow I could still hear, I heard quick hysterical gasps for breath.

They weren't mine.

I sucked in a breath to speak. I will forever regret that.

The smell that hit me sent my throat into burning agony and my eyes opened against my will as I sprang up quicker than humanly possible and lunged. The parched agony dimmed as I dropped what I was holding, and the last few seconds finally registered in my mind.

When I had opened my eyes there was a man huddled, dirty, crying, and I had attacked him and ripped his throat out. I could smell the blood and urine as I backed away slowly, taking in ragged breaths.

Why wasn't I crying? I realized what had happened as I stared into his dead eyes. There were blue bits under his fingernails that matched the paint on the back of the door. They had locked him in here with me during my agony. He tried to claw his way out while I screamed and begged for death.

They locked him in here while I burned. So I could eat him.

No mercy here.

My breaths grew sharper as I drew back away from the body. I could still smell the blood, and I hated myself even more for _wanting _it. It was all over me. Only some of it was mine. The horror of it all overshadowed the fact that I could see the texture of the brushstrokes in the flecks of paint under his nails. I dimly registered every imperfection of his face, every faucet of color in his blank eyes, before they would have been brown, but now they had flecks of red and honey and a color I had no word for. Outside of my breathing there was no movement, I could hear the rustle of the individual fibers of my shirt as I quickly breathed in and out. My breathing didn't ease and a distant corner of my mind noted that I should have passed out by now. Like a regular human being.

But I didn't and so I knew. I was one of the monsters now. As soon as this registered the door opened and the paper man came in flanked by two larger men in cloaks and a woman I vaguely remembered from the turret room. That memory seemed fuzzy and distant almost, like I was brushing my fingertips against it and couldn't grab hold. The squeal from the door seemed overly loud. I looked at them again amazed. It was like I had never seen them before, like I was looking through dirty or fogged glass before. Now their beauty was much more defined, their movements much more graceful; much more dangerous.

I cut off my breathing completely.

The all-consuming terror I felt at the sight of the paper man warred with the horror of it all as he grinned at me.

"Very good Isabella, I hope you're not still thirsty?" That sighing voice again.

"How-" Holy crow was that my voice? It sounded like singing. My voice rang and shimmered like a bell. I reflexively grabbed at my throat. I couldn't seem to keep one single train of thought.

He watched me with a grandfatherly smile and came closer. I retreated. I had barely made the decision to move and I was suddenly against the far wall. When I moved his face fell slightly and he looked at the woman.

So did I. That same intense look of focus was on her face as she stared at me. Some foreign thing inside me was screaming at me, telling me she was a threat, the same thing that seized control and killed that man earlier. I wanted to give in to it, if it meant she would get hurt, but I was terrified of doing so. The pain in my throat seemed to flare, coinciding with my agitation.

"Chelsea." The paper man sighed again. She broke her stare with me and looked at him, bowing her head in defeat. He frowned this time, but I barely registered the expression before it was gone. He was looking at me again with that anticipation in his eyes. I tensed, and that alien thing inside me pulled me into a crouch before I could even think.

The paper man said something again as quick and soft as all those other times when I couldn't make it out before, but it was loud and clear now, I had monster ears.

My monster eyes raked the room and saw my victim once more. The monster inside clawed at my throat again, but it was less persistent, more easily ignored right now. I saw the two men and the woman relax and lean away from me as I registered the paper mans words. "Relax. No one is here to hurt you, you're safe now."

Burning hot rage filled me, I was seeing red; No one was here to hurt me? The ones who massacred all those people, who left me in burning agony, who turned me into a monster, who _murdered _Isabella Swan weren't here to hurt me? Is there anything left of me unhurt?

The monster feeding on the rage, was whispering to me, instinctively I knew I could not win there were too many and they were all older than me. They could kill me and maybe they would if I attacked the paper man. He seemed to be in charge. But was that what I wanted? To go through that and just die? But what was left for me? I was the only survivor from that ill-fated tour. As far as the world is concerned I probably died in whatever orchestrated accident claimed the rest of the tour victims. I had no idea how long I burned; it could have been years. I tried to think back, to Renee, Charlie, but those memories were fuzzy. I couldn't even recall exactly what Charlie looked like. I felt like I was being stabbed in the heart.

All of this thinking seemed to pass in the fraction of a second after he spoke. The rage seemed to fade into the sorrow just as quickly; all of it still tempered by the horror. I decided I didn't want to die, not here, not until I made sure Charlie was okay. I knew Renee would be okay with Phil there, but Charlie was all alone, and it was all my fault. I can't die not remembering his face, so I decided to live, at least for a little while. Now I had to carry out that decision.

I would play along for now. I wasn't ready to die yet. I didn't want to kill anyone but I was too much of a coward to lay down and die. I looked again at the broken man and relaxed my crouch slightly. I was a monster now, that tiny corner of my mind that remained untouched by this alien blood-craving thing was screaming.

The paper man took my shift as permission to approach, his men looked apprehensive as he neared me.

"Now, now dear girl. I have given you such a gift. I saw great potential in you and saved your life. And now I will provide you with sustenance," his eyes flicked to the broken man and back again to me, "and teach you all about this new life I have bestowed upon you _if _in exchange you render your services as my guard."

"What…" the bell tones again, was that really my voice?

Concentrate Bella! "What could I possibly do for you?"

I tried to remain as blank as possible. They weren't human and I wouldn't survive long if they could see how much of me still was. The way the paper man casually dismissed the broken man as sustenance sickened and terrified me. But I couldn't let that show. Concentrate!

But it was so _hard_. Everything was clamoring for my attention, and the smell was so distracting, so tempting. I felt a renewed surge of self-hatred.

I would never be such a monster. I would walk the walk and talk the talk but I wont give into that. I'll find a way to stay as human as I can.

Or I'll die trying. I relaxed slightly after coming to this resolution.

The paper man seemed to be reassured. "If you haven't yet surmised what has happened Isabella, I changed you. You are now a vampire like myself." And the monsters have a name. "And like myself you are particularly gifted above and beyond that of a normal vampire."

This made me pause. Was this why I wasn't part of the screaming throng in the turret room? Was this why the other…vampires…Heidi and Jane were so angry with me? But I didn't do anything.

I shifted; I had no idea what he was talking about. "I-I can't do anything." I was so scared and tired, and the paper man's grandfatherly smile was back, I was so tempted to trust him. That part of my mind hysterically screaming, that little part that was solely Bella Swan paused long enough to scream at me, to tell me that I would be a monster too if I trusted this one. So I listened to her. And I would pretend to listen to him. I forced myself to relax slightly. He seemed encouraged.

He came closer again, only a little but noticeable nonetheless. "Its not what you can do dear girl, but what you _are_." His anticipation was back. "You are a shield."

He seemed almost giddy. " I will help you meet your potential, now come get cleaned up." He turned from the room seeming not to give me a second thought. His men tensed as I stared at his back a moment; the monster, still enraged, was whispering in my ear that now was the time to attack, he was off guard.

The human part of me is the only thing that held me back. I couldn't die yet, and when I did I wanted to be free of the monsters first. I'd rather die alone than have them anywhere near me when I finally did.

The lack of my heartbeat made me rethink that notion. When I cease.

But it would be after I was free from them. I was determined now, more so than ever before. The woman moved closer to me and gave me a smile, her eyes were intent and focused, I don't know if she was only faking sincerity, or if this was as sincere as she could manage being what she was.

Her face fell, the look on my face betraying my thoughts. I cursed the fact I was so easily read, if this continued they would have me figured out soon. The horror of it all was the only thing that kept my emotions off my face until now. She gripped my arm and led me; I suppressed the shivers as it reminded me of Heidi. But she was not hard, or cold. Or rather, now I was too.

The paper man spoke without turning to me. He was far ahead now but he didn't have to speak up for me to hear. I took a second to marvel in that before focusing on his words.

"I am Aro. We are known as the Volturi, dear Isabella, Myself, Marcus and Caius. You may remember them from the audience chamber." I heard the smile in his voice when he said audience, and hid my expression of disgust behind my hair. " We lead this coven, and enforce the law of our kind." He stopped and turned to face me suddenly, the two cloaked men lingering between us, and Chelsea at my back.

"The only true rule among our kind is to never reveal ourselves to humans. You must pretend to be human when you move among them." He looked at me with a deliberating expression, coldly serious. "As impressive as I find your potential Isabella, should you break this rule and expose us, you will suffer the same punishment as anyone else. Vampires who break this rule are not allowed to _continue_." There was a sense of horrifying finality in that word. He smiled suddenly. He looked lighthearted; all the severity left his expression almost as if it was never there at all.

"I know there is nothing to fear from you however, accidental or otherwise, at least for a while." That grandfatherly smile was back. I knew he could see the question on my face, and he nodded, still smiling.

"I don't understand." I was frowning. He came toward me and waved the two guards aside to gingerly place his arm around my shoulders now leading me along the corridor personally. He tensed slightly when his fingers paused on my bare arm, the ghost of a touch lasted less than the span of a heartbeat before he withdrew his fingers and continued as if he hadn't deliberately touched me at all.

"Well my dear, as you are still a new born it will be months yet before you even have the control enough to venture outside the castle walls." He shook his head with a chuckle, "Seeing as you are of my making you are primarily my responsibility," He was staring ahead smiling as I finally realized how fast we were going, humans couldn't even sprint as fast as our leisurely pace was taking us.

All of that was forgotten as we reached a door, it was the same as all the others lining the corridor. Chelsea opened it for us as he ushered me in. "Now clean up dear girl, and get settled, I'm sure you would like time alone for now." He pulled back as I turned to look at him, "If you have any more questions or get thirsty don't hesitate to seek me out, for you are my responsibility, I made you" he seemed cheered by the next words, "In that way I suppose I am your father. See you soon dear Isabella."

He closed the door before the words had a chance to sink in.

Father. I felt the horror and revulsion contort my face. _Never_! Never would I think of him as my father. Charlie was my father, my dad. Aro was my murderer.

I felt like crying, I could feel the pain in my eyes. But I could still hear them in the corridor, which means they can still hear me.

Not safe to cry here.

I looked around the room. It reminded me of a dorm room, but there was no bed; where was I going to sleep? There was a dresser, a desk with a computer, a reclining chair, and a door, which presumably led to a bathroom.

It was a bathroom, but with only a shower stall and sink.

No toilet. I guess the monsters didn't bother with pretenses. I peeled off my clothing, the dried blood, both mine and the man's, flaking onto the floor, the stale scent making the pain in my throat flare slightly.

I swallowed back the sobs and crawled into the shower.

I don't know how long I stayed there. Crying quietly, using the sound of the running water to mask my sobs. That was how I found out I couldn't cry. So I let the water run over my face and pretended to be human. I realized how strong I was when the metal of the faucet groaned under my touch, my hands were trembling slightly as I adjusted the spray as gently as possible, looking at the finger shaped dents in the stall door and the faucet handle. When I was out of fake tears and I couldn't smell the blood anymore I finished up and stepped out, face to face with my third horrific revelation.

Bella Swan was truly murdered, and that alien thing, that monster in my head was me. I stared at the alien creature in the glass, she was indisputably beautiful, and fluid even in stillness. Her flawless face was as pale as the moon and luminous as a pearl against dark heavy hair. My horror grew, my face was nowhere to be found in those features, and then I saw her eyes. They sent a thrill of terror through me; they were different from the eyes of the other monsters. They were so much worse. I stared transfixed by those irises, blazing like vicious red flames, taunting me and truly driving the point home: Bella Swan was dead; long live the monster.


End file.
